Friday, April 11, 2014

Diagnosis - Fibromyalgia

Searching for a diagnosis is difficult and tiring. 
Being diagnosed is no different when it is something that isn't curable.
I am 21 and have been feeling progressively worse since I was 13.
That is a really long time. 
This winter I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.
I thought having a name to my problems would make them better, I was wrong. 
It made me feel even more hopeless and I landed in a pretty dark place.

But that didn't help me. 

I wanted to give up, but what would that do?

But if I kept trying I could make a good life for myself. After three years of studying I have had to give up on my education degree. A teacher is the only thing I have ever wanted to be so this was a hard time in my life (one I am still going through). I have recently found a new way to receive a degree from my school even though it is in another area of study. 
The support of my family, friends, boyfriend, and roommate (you will see her on here soon!) is allowing me to see what I still can do. Everything is a little harder for me and it is difficult to not feel like a burden on those that I love, but they still love me back which means they can't be too sick of me! 
(I hope!)

Never feeling good sucks, I can't really sugar coat that.
But feeling this way for so long has made me into the person I am today, and I am pretty alright.
Having a body that feels 80 years old has allowed me to embrace the grandma lifestyle. 
Give me a small white dog (I have two), some cats (four), yarn (so much), and some baking supplies and I am a happy clam. I get grumpy if I have to wear real pants for too long and I live for a comfy recliner. 
I get tired of explaining myself to people so I've made it into a joke.

The only way to get through anything, happy or sad, is with laughter.
That is so sappy and that really isn't the shit I am about.
I am a coarse old grandma who will make you a blanket and take care of your baby while making inappropriate jokes and not wearing pants all at the ripe old age of 21.

If I hadn't felt like this for so long, I don't think that's who I would be. 
And I really like grandmas. 

I would love to hear from other people going through this or just
from other granny-types. I know from experience that fellow
grandmas make the best friends.



  1. Fibro sucks I've had 20 years of it! It does get easier hunni eventually! Great blog xx

  2. Hi Rachel,

    I am 20 and was diagnosed in January of this year after getting sick while I was on an archaeological dig in Israel in June of last year. I think that I had a good deal for my waiting for diagnosis after hearing about yours. I think that Fibro care is an up and coming health area that doctors and specialists are beginning to embrace particularly here in Australia.
    I know exactly how you feel about people just not getting it so giving up on explaining.
    I think that the google and facebook communities of Fibro warriors are so inspiring and I hope that you may gain some encouragement from them too.

    I send you hope and peace,
    A fellow Grandma

    1. Jamee,
      Thanks so much for taking the time to write me. I am so sorry you got sick although it is nice to know about those who understand me! I followed you on google plus and I hope you can follow me back. I would love to keep in contact for support/understanding. I also would love to hear about your archaeological dig (that sounds awesome!)
      I hope today is a good day for you,